and you find yourself
breathing
the chill comes from inside
although it originates from surrounding events
and i think of the Buddhists and Taoist
saying breath deeply
but that's not changing anything
telling me eat
but i can barely sip water
saying we are all connected
but that's part of the problem
my only respite
is hope
that if i work hard enough
and be here
right here with the sun and
breeze and mountains and clouds
and fire trucks and flies and palm trees
with the paint and cars going somewhere
that one moment it will be different
and i will be able to smile for you and you and you