work in-progress

Gravity casting a low melt alloy of bismuth and tin into RTV silicone.





I have a laugh at myself, melting metal in a coffee can, an angle iron attached to it for the handle. Yet, while reading a book of interviews given by David Sylvester with american artists, I remarked at a comment Robert Rauschenberg made. He was talking about on the goat in one of is combines. It seems that some viewer sat on it during an exhibit and broke one of its legs. That in it self is noteworthy and makes my smile widen; yet, it was his statement after, saying that with his "at-home craftsmanship" he could not repair it properly (to avoid changing it's over all appearance) and had to send it to a taxidermist. That at-home craftsmanship is what struck me. There is a balance there that has always interested me.

I have been playing with the hearts lately, finding images to fill the cavity.  My 2 year old son picked one up from the table, held the two parts in his hands and says, "owie".  And I reply, "Yes, That is a kind of owie."

I wonder how much time is spent on the wrong pursuits because it is easier or feels better in the right now. Even the gut can fool. At times you must fight and kick and scratch and curse just to stay on the high ground.

The best way, or at least one way, to change the way you are thinking is action.
For me, it is making the white grounds I will work on. They comprise repetitive actions in which I need to take great care; yet, there are no direct decisions to make.

I mix rabbit skin glue 3 parts to 2 parts chalk from Champagne. I do need to have a tweezer handy for any stray hair from the Gesso brush.
I consider them my little Robert Ryman's. You can see this traditional ground does not go on very smooth so after it drys I sand it and add another coat in the opposite direction. I do this around 5 or 6 times, which gives me a really creamy surface, without being too polished.

I wanted to make a distinction. The projects I am working on definitely have me thinking about the big picture. However, it is not my mortality that gets me pondering, I have had that down for a while. When you have another to think about, the mortality of someone else that you love, suddenly that uncertainty that you are comfortable with does not seem to settle down quite so nicely. There are a lot of unresolved emotions.

I was at Safeway, reading to Leo from the children's books, when I saw a photo-journal type book, Crazy sexy Cancer Tips. It was 8 X 10 formatted, a nice book to hold, with tips on how to stay positive, among other things. It was written by a woman and the photos were mostly of her. She seemed happy in the ones I saw. I could not spend much time on it because I was also teaching Leo...green tractor, red tractor. I was immediately connected... not only to the ultimate end but to everything. To the here and now. The death potential as the connector. I am assuming she is a survivor. I am happy for that... it would almost be too much to bear if you connect with a woman's struggle over 2 to 300 pages, repleat with positivity and photos, in the end, only to fine there is an afterward... It is like the back story to Confederacy of Dunces or the movie Waitress. Perhaps the large tragedies make our small tragedies bearable.  Or we get stuck on things like this because we assume a long life, taking our time, getting around to it.  When, in fact, we should take our time because there is not much of it and that is the best way to spend it.

The heart rate of a blue-throated humming bird is 1260 beats per minute. While this one has green on its chest, not blue, I am sure its heart beats fast.

It is said that all animals have generally the same number of heartbeats in their lifetimes. While this is not exactly true, the human and the chicken each have about 2 billion heartbeats in a life of average longevity.

I have heart murmurs.

This was the first leather I choose. Stressing the purple leather further brings out the connection to a purple heart. 

I know some are reluctant to talk about their works in progress. Me, I need to. Or at least want to. It is like tasting the cookie batter. I do not worry too much about others influences or some other concerns. I have thought up and down about all aspects, so I know the directions of my path. However, there are times that I want to test my visual communication skills.  I ask my viewers what their thoughts are; or, mostly what happens is, someone says "oh, I like that one".  I ask why what does is feel like to you, or what does it say to you or why are you attracted to it.    Most of the time they get exactly what I am trying to put forward.  At times, there is something that I may want to tweak, to get that idea or feeling accross.    My works come from the world and go out into the world, so a little testing is not so bad. I have lots of friends who paint or sculpt or what ever. Even though their art is vastly different, there are time I think of what I would do if their art was my art. I am happy that most of them, if not appreciate my input, at least tolerate it!

For this, I am still working on the straps, and on the heart inside, the lining and on the inside of the heart, as well. It is coming together. FYI, this project started out manifesting itself as a crocheted bag... kind of like the Sak. It started when Jodi was pregnant. I had a little time, so I got some lessons from friends and taught myself how to crochet. The feeling of the bag was all wrong though. It sort of reminded me of a testicle. I did want the feeling of a fetish item, but not that particular fetish. Besides that, the feeling was way too craft oriented. I wanted the idea to come though and not necessarily the hand-made-ness.

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